I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize