first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
