Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
