do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
