Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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