this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Farmville is her only friend.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize