you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
