My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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