im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
