If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
