when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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