He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
