my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
