I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
