I'm gonna have a badass scar
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize