I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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