You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Panties = found
Randomize
