I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
