Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
