so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
