its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
