tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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