Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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