i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
