3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
