Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
