Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just blew my weed a kiss
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
