I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
