the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I supernannyed him into submission
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
