My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
