you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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