since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize