areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
