2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
