i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
