About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
