He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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