I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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