Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
