Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
