can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
