I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize