He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
