Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
