It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it glows. i had to have it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
