Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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