he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
