he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
