Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it glows. i had to have it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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