I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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