i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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