he wants to bone in the snuggie
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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