i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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