Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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