i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
