Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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