Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
