and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize