i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You're like the curious george of whores
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
