I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
