Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this boner is exhausting
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize