my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
