how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We have so much sex to catch up on
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
